You mean you haven't read this yet????

Stop reading now.












There- bet you didn't. I mean, if you did you wouldn't read this bit afterwards. But I bet approximately 100% of you kept reading. I could probably use that as a clever analogy about important socio-political matters. As it is, I just felt like doing it for the hell of it :)




I write to you now (live) from a slightly more positive perspective than usual. As a result I imagine no-one will be the least bit interested in what I have to say. As a random aside, someone on Facebook quipped about how there weren't enough pictures, so I resolve to add more pointless illustrations to help further my unending quest for Blogging perfection.


I'm trying to remove from my vocabulary that awful phrase "YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN/HEARD [Film/webcomic/song]???"; often delivered with such unnecessary incredulity you want to mash the speaker's face into a cactus. No I haven't, you judgemental sack of organs. Almost as bad is 'You should see/hear....'. I'm sure everyone's perfectly capable of making their own minds up about what they do or do not want forced down their eyesockets or into their earholes. Suggesting stuff is quite innocuous though. So let's try that:


I think you might enjoy The King's Speech.


Where 'you' means everyone over the age of about 15 and with more than a double-figure IQ. And you know what? I don't think I could really say why. The age suggestion is only because of repeated uses of the word 'fuck' (albeit inoffensively). But what should come across as a fetid, limp period-drama about some flouncy royal berk stammering like Gareth Gates instead ends up as a genuinely funny, and perplexingly exciting, tale which you just can't help but enjoy. I guess there is some value to Oscar nominations. 


Oh yeh.... pictures. Here's a picture of a King, in case you're having trouble visualising this at all:

I may make this habit. i can see how illustrations really serve to improve my otherwise stereo-chrome word stack.


In fact, let's continue the trend. Here's some pointless drawings of sea-creatures that look posh:

These are all concept doodles for a cartoon series some compatriots and I had planned which hasn't materialised yet. Hopefully some less-tight scheduling will mean it eventually gets made. I mean... who wouldn't want a bizarre cartoon show about a Gentleman's Society under the sea? I can't think of anyone.

Which is probably a statement about who I associate with.

-Neop

In a departure from the norm....

Despite there being plenty for me to throw my sarcasm at (in big, angry lumps) I fear anything I had to talk about, for instance the hanged hung parliament and all its traits, would be disappointingly predictable, and lead to what I call "McDonalds Syndrome" (expecting something to be pretty good, then feeling decidedly let-down once you've finished it).

Since you clearly care what I think, or you wouldn't bother reading this, I figure I'd change for a bit and outline what I've been doing with my ever-so-varied life. This isn't meant to come across as a bout of "I'm more interesting than you!", but then again if you feel that way I probably am, because I don't think things are particularly exciting atm.

What I've Been Doing:

Clearly, from my recent history, I haven't been posting much up here. This is partly because I find myself spending WAY too much time on my laptop and not enough time say, socialising, hosting BBQs or playing Laser Tag at silly hours. None of this is for lack of trying.

Yesterday I devoted my valuable time trying to help park around 10,000 cars for a country show using a hoard of eager ATC cadets. That turned out pretty well. Some of them even paid attention, and all avoided getting crushed by the public.

I'm also planning a holiday for summer, starting to revise for exams, maintain a website, play guitar once in a while, see my Girlfriend as often as I can, watch House, and try (in vain) to find people to play squash with. It's a full time occupation, being a student. The days when I wake up and find myself busy until I fall asleep are the best ones. Sitting alone in my room when no-one's feeling social is pretty soul-destroying. There's plenty of time for that when I've been forced out of this haven of socialising and intellectualism, and spat unceremoniously into the world of work (and expensive drinks).

What I've Been Watching.

This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEjUAnPc2VA

That's one of the funniest videos I've seen in ages.

Also Iron Man 2. It's amazing. Go see it. Immediately.

What I've Been Listening To:

Aside from the reassuringly eloquent tones of Radio 4 and the Friday Night Comedy podcast relentlessly mocking the UK's politicians, I remain addicted to a fantastical album by a bunch of Americanians called Marianas Trench. It's called Masterpiece Theatre and it's possibly one of the greatest collections of music I've heard in living memory- from the uplifting, fun stuff, through the songs that make you feel all nostalgic, to the incredibly emotional, and the unbelievably catchy. So the guy is ugly, and the singing is an acquired taste, but I love it and thought some of you might fancy a new listening experience (unless you're the person who introduced this album to me. You know who you are!).

What I've Been Thinking About:

A lot of things you might expect: exams, how awesome Iron Man 2 was, how things taste better when they're cheaper, etc. etc. Err..... at the moment I'm thinking I really want to watch Crank. Might have to see if there are some web-versions floating about. If you're into awesome action and you like fellas like Stallone, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Jet Li, and guest appearances from Arnie and Bruce Willis, (ie. if you have any form of vague interest in action films, at all, ever) you'll want to check out the Expendables which is coming out later this year!

Also, I've thought about Google ads- which will shortly be coming to this blog. Brace yourselves!

Been thinking about exams, which you probably don't care about...

Finally, I've been wondering, as any sane person would, about relationships. I like to think I rationalise things a lot. You might've guessed by now I like reasons for things (Greg House has the right idea). Some things continue to surprise me.

I don't know if any of you reading this might be in a similar situation, but I find it strange that I can be in a relation with a girl who's so... fantastically different to me, and it feel like the best thing in the world. I know opposites attract, but clearly there's some line there- I imagine a Hippy and Bill Gates wouldn't do too well in a relationship, and people with wildly differing world views would probably end up yelling at each other over dinner about why the other person's favoured political party are crap.

At any rate, I've just been feeling pretty lucky at the minute for finding someone who's ridiculously attractive, fun, happy, exciting and at the same time; different from me in only the right ways. It feels utterly perfect, without any sort of rational reasoning.

I'm grateful for that :)

Anyway.... I think I'm coming to the end of my introspective little jaunt. I will probably resume ranting in good time, but in the meantime, feel free to share some thoughts about your life (here or Facebook). It's always interesting.

-Neop

A shout out for a shut up

My pet hate this week.

Lets talk music. That strangely hostile subject which results in agro between friends and, if you're in Norway, death.

I am tremendously judgemental about music. I think everyone has every right to be... within reason. Personally, I hate with a burning passion the faceless, pathetic whiney nobodies infecting the popular music scene with their repetitive, repugnant crap.

The standard seems to be:

1. No more than THREE notes may be sung in any one song. Penalty is death.
2. Your backing track must be one riff which plays continuously for five minutes.
3. You can't sing normally. You have to either have a piercing, nasal cacophony of vocal range; or else a ridiculously forced ethnic accent (this includes all you try hard cockney Indie get-ups).
4. Despite all the above, the drooling, zombie minded public will fall at your feet like dominoes and practically fornicate the ground you walk on.

La Roux, for example, sounds like someone strangling a cat that's had its lungs inflated with helium. I would rather take a cheese grater to my own face than listen to this particular catastrophe of sound. Rap is another no no. That some chavvy, goggle wearing social retard gets paid more money than is owned by Switzerland to speak into a microphone about how much he's getting laid makes me want to stab pencils in my ears. What is the attraction here? How many 'songs' about bitches, hoes, guns, and asses can you physically tolerate before you start evolving backwards into a big, insecure sperm? Why the hell would you pay your own money to these bastards, to have them do nothing more than speak in time with some god-awful computerised thumping noises?

Clearly then, these particular brands of sonic-effluence appeal to a very special kind of moron, hitherto referred to as "The Public". Cynical? I certainly bloody hope so. An industry which prizes itself on moaning like a hungry 2 year old whenever somebody turns on Limewire deserves every single verbal smack in the mouth it can get. People who rise up from society's asshole and perpetuate their talentless, mindless drawling to a salivating fanbase are just as much a parasite and a waste of organs as so called 'psychics', 'mediums' and homeopathists who similarly make money out of people's utter, unending stupidity.

All this being said, this is not the point of this entry.

What I want to say, is that despite the above, I don't give two ounces of dirt what sort of music you're in to.

I don't care.

At all.

Go ahead, listen to this rubbish.

BUT.

Don't you dare inflict it on me.

This, is where I'm going: I am sick to the nipples, of having to justify to other people, my particular tastes in music. I cannot stand the apparent stigma associated with certain bands that I like. Yeh, some people might get just as angry about Fall Out Boy as I have about La Roux, but that's something for you to moan about in your spare time when I'm not within earshot. Dear anyman, why does it bother you in the slightest to learn that I like FoB? Why is this suddenly a cause for you to disapprovingly shake your head as if you've found out I occasionally partake in bestiality? It's just a goddamn band. I don't tie you to a chair and force you to listen to my iTunes library- so don't hold it against me.

You know what? I do like Fall out Boy. A lot. I also like Simple Plan (despite their inherent Emo properties) and hey, what about the odd Emo song now and then? It's not like I slit my wrists to it and bloody up your lovely clean floors. I like most Punk groups (fine- not much problem in society's eyes of liking say, Green Day or The Offspring) but now and then I get the strange urge to listen to Daniel Bloody Powter- and you can't do ANYTHING about it. So stop trying.

I have a playlist with Mika songs in it.

I see nothing wrong with Abba.

Or the Lighthouse Family.

Or Panic! At the Disco.

Any of this bothering you yet? If it is, I seriously suggest you grab the nearest blunt object and propel your skull into it with whatever strength you have. You deserve the injury if my life concerns you that much.

Grow up.

Get a life.

And if you want to moan, keep it on the internet and away from my face.

-Neop

Hot Wheels

This is just a random collection of my favouritest cars... you get a prize if you can name all of them... clue- it's not a DB9...........