Referendum Special

In a confusing and word-filled world, one blogger has the balls of steel to lay down the facts for you- the intelligent public. Yes that's right folks: this is the one place in the entire universe where you'll find the collated facts from both sides of the argument that will let you make a well-informed and carefully considered random decision on the future of the voting system in the UK, and therefore the well being of the 
entire
human
race.


Because that's just how important it is. I've flipped a fair, unbiased and politically neutral coin and it's told me sternly to start with the 'No Campaign'. Or as they're popularly known:




NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!(!!!!) TO AV


So what are the key points on this side of the political fence? Let's lay out the facts about this so-called 'Alternative Vote' which the so-called opponents to democracy have dared to suggest will be right for our so-called country.


AV IS COSTLY
That's right you poor bastards. This system of voting is so ridiculously expensive it'll cost an average of TWENTY FIVE BILLION pence. This is because voting would only be able to take place on brand new multi-quintilliion gigaquad quantum touchscreen voting implementation devices. 

HOW THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE MEANT TO COPE?

You wouldn't spend money on a massive cake instead of your dying son would you?
Eh?
Would you?
Well that's what this is. AV is killing children. We don't need computermabobs. We need Hospitals, Libraries, Spaceships, and Computers.


AV IS COMPLEX AND UNFAIR
See this?

This is science. PROPER REAL SCIENCE. And AV is worse. SO much worse. Look at this smart guy. He's smart and he's totally mindfucked by this shit:

WHAT THE HELL??????????

If you think of elections like a race, would you let the last person win? That would be insane right? Well that's what the Alternative Vote system would safeguard. The ridiculous rules ensure that the combination of the party with the lowest share of the highest alternative choice of vote automatically becomes the lowest high vote party in the system.

THAT MEANS THE LOWEST VOTES ALWAYS WIN! 

Do you want some nutty right-wing nazi party in power? I thought not.

AV IS A POLITICIANS' FIX

So are you happy with our government now? Well with AV, because the idiots in the general public can't agree, we might end up with more of the same government we have now. Every time we have an election the politicians will just throw all the votes in a massive bin (marked 'Rubbish') and then have a massive game of spin the fucking bottle to decide who gets power.  Like, literally. I asked them. It's true. 

And let's be honest: the last people we want to trust with important decisions about the country are the politicians. Because they're arseholes.

See that? Cocks! It's funny because it's offensive!

In conclusion, AV is a disgusting crime against our country and you must join us to stop its spread. No to AV is supported across the galaxy by businessmen, pensioners, plumbers, farmers, Jews, police officers, theatre producers and Jesus. Join them in their campaign of righteoususness®

And now for the other end:

YES! OH DEAR GOD YES TO AV!!

Before you start reading this, you'd better not be on the 'No' campaign. Anyone who even considers voting against this is a degenerate and an enemy of freedom. Only a Nazi would get in the way of this sort of progress.

AV IS THE SYSTEM OUR COUNTRYMEN DIED FOR

This, is Boris McBritsoldierguy:

Poor old man =(

He fought in all three World War Twos, and died for his country. He told us that every time he's ever voted in a General Election, his party hasn't won. Ever. Not once. This is the disgusting legacy of First Past The Post voting, where our veterans are being denied the very democracy they fought for. How ghastly. Sickening even. And all manner of other words.

AV is the only way we can absolutely guarantee that old well-meaning war heroes get their vote recognised.

Did you know?

.... that when our young men enlisted in the war against fascism, they actually signed an oath promising: "To fight for our country, our people, and the Alternative Vote system"?

AV MAKES MPS WORK HARDER

Your member of parliament is typically a lazy fat shit who doesn't care about you or your children. But under AV, they would have to work harder. Why is this? Well the reason is complex and involves scary concepts like numbers and explanations, so here's an easy way of visualising it:

How much more patronisingly obvious could it be? Don't just sit there: vote for real stuff. 

AV IS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP EXTREMISTS AND TACTICAL VOTES

In case you hadn't noticed, every single council in the UK is currently ruled by extremists; Nazis, Communists, and evil Thatcherites. This is because FPTP gives people no choice: if they don't want the Tories, Labour Party or Lieberal Democrats in power they have to employ evil tactical voting tactical tactics. What's that I hear you ask?

IT MEANS VOTING FOR THE BNP INSTEAD.

This is why the BNP are currently in charge of everything and we've seen a massive rise in racial superhate megadeathcrime. True. You know any black people? Best start saying goodbye to them. 

Unless you vote AV, that may be the last newspaper he ever reads.

If you vote 'no' on AV, you're basically encouraging people to murder black people. That's why the KKK have thrown their weight behind Cameron and his satanic cartel of evildoers. Do you want that?

Well?

Do you? Do you want that? Is that what you want? Is it? ISIT?? ISTHATWHATYOUWANT? THINKWHATYOU'REDOING!!!!!

You FUCK.

Basically, when the day comes, just think with your head, and vote however you think is best for the country. Which is blatantly a yes for AV. SERIOUSLY GUYS THERE ARE SO MANY REASONS! WHY ARE WE STILL LOWER IN THE POLLS? 

please?

######################################################################

Well there we go. I've spent literally a long, boring couple of hours typing out this shit so that you guys can make the most sensible opinion of your lives. Just vote the right way (whatever that is) else God will kill all the people you love. With fire. It matters.

As much as death.

Which is a lot.

-Neop

Definitely not about Easter

I have a confession to make. I don't know if there's any kind of significance with the Christian festivals going on and my need to repent, but the time has come that I can suppress the urge no longer. I must make this clear. It is this:

Justin Bieber doesn't really bother me.

Shocking right? Here I am, ranting away on the interslice, and I can't even come up with a good tirade of abuse to fling overhand at the floppy haired little twat. Now to qualify my otherwise out-of-character statement, I shall begin by saying this confession isn't nearly as shocking as admitting that I like his music [although if I did admit to such a crime, I would direct you in the direction of this]. I don't. But I don't particularly hate it any more than the insipid soup of spit that constitutes the latest chart hits.

Just looking at the website I can see at least three songs that I think are infinitely more offensive to Music than a skinny jean toting something-teen year-old warbling into an autotuner. Three of the top 100 songs have the word 'fuck' in the title. That's not to say they aren't decent songs (they aren't though), but if people are prepared to get outraged enough about Bieber, surely they'll be equally pissed off with this unseemly use of expletives in song titles?

Basically no. That would be missing the point. The people who spend night and day on their computers coming up with this sort of thing:

are probably doing it for a number of reasons, none of which are for the betterment of music in the world. Sucks to be you, you boring bastards: spending your life (ironically) dedicated to someone you self-admittedly wish would die and be gone from this life, lest his squeaky voice invoke in you such an uncontrollable rage you accidentally murder all your friends using a hacksaw and a length of cheese wire. "But Judge!" the defendant cries, "it was all that Bieber kid! His very existence is so unbearable I felt I had no choice but to embark on a dismemberment spree!". 

Partly, this is all down to personal preference. As I said, I don't like the kid. I don't like his music, his floor-cleaning haircut, or his legions of fangirls. A good friend of mine said her reason for disliking him is primarily because he represents a nobody who, through money and marketing, has reached industry-standard fame whilst retaining now outstanding qualities at all.

I completely agree. I just can't seem to get angry about it. I don't think anyone should really.

To put this in some perspective, I propose examining a few reasons people want to saw him into eight hundred and thirty little meaty cubes. I haven't done any prior research to this, but I'm sure I'll find some decent examples. Let's explore this avenue.

The Hair

Honestly? In my week working at a school I would guess that roughly 70% of boys upwards of about 14 have exactly the same cut. [Insert old-man voice here] It's just what the kids have nowadays. Personally I think it looks like a poofy dead animal smeared on his scalp. On the other hand, it looks far less crap than the likes of this:

He's from some band called the Polar Monkeys or something. I hear they're popular. He looks every bit as much of a tosser as Bieber, and I'm guessing no-one's ever threatened him with death because of it. Finally, let's not forget these two pricks.

I feel dirty for putting this up. See? These are some truly repulsive homo-fucknuggets.

The 'Hip Hop' image

I'll be honest, this is not something I'd heard of complained about before. Some people seem to have it in their sparsely occupied brains that the kid is trying to be the next Snoop Dogg because he's done some vaguely hippity-hop tunes. Then there's tirades of abuse about how he's basically a 'wigger'. Well, as I said, I'm not saying he isn't. But then...

From House of Pain

He's called "Slug"... That's er.... ''well'ard''?

And of course:

Next!

Can't Sing

Well I'm sorry- but no-one can make that judgement because no-one's ever heard him without an autotune, correct? Actually no. I found this video (watch at your own risk) of him doing a live session, and he's (whilst cringe inducing) not out-of-key. So whilst you can hate on his music all you like, don't ever accuse the little weed of being tone deaf. He can probably sing better than you (unless Susan Boyle is reading this, in which case you owe me a fiver). I'm not going to give a specific example of a different, less controversial star singing badly because you can look for yourself. Off the top of my head, Katy Perry fans should watch her live performance of 'Firework' on X Factor last year. Or don't. You'll wish you hadn't.

He's Idolised

This is slightly baffling. I guess the average 4chan user finds it intolerable that there's a young man out there who has the 12-15 year old girl fanbase almost exclusively to himself as their sole lead-singer and heartthrob. Why? 

Possibly it's jealousy. Which raises interesting questions about their tastes in females...

In terms of even-less-deserving human stains have we forgotten every Jade Goody and Jordan out there who have literally no use in society, no redeeming features, no reason to exist, no personality, and not a single IQ point between their entire population? These people get frontpage coverage for managing to evacuate their bowels unaided and would serve mankind better after being puréed  into a form of plant-food. 

All I can think is.... shame?

As is so often the case with these ramblings, I've lost interest in my own subject matter by writing about it. As a closing thought, I propose that if you've been affected by anything you've read here, consider just ignoring Justin until he (inevitably) fades into obscurity. You're not big, or clever, for picking on a 17 year old Canadian pillock when there are far more deserving scumbags to be hated out there.

Or in the words of the intro track to the Offspring album 'Ixnay on the Hombre':

"Aaaand if it offends you,

just,

don't,

listen to it."

-Neop

A week in writing

Well haven't I had the most schizophrenic personality this week? Yes I have. That was rhetorical. You can't answer me directly: I'm typing. What the hell did you think this was- a conversation?

From the dizzying tiger-blood highs of (brace yourselves) teaching successfully, to the alcoholism-inducing lows of boredom, boredom, boredom and losing things, of all the weeks I've experienced in my life, the last seven days have certainly been one of them. But fuck. I'm not here to talk about my life (see various previous blogs) but to, hopefully, mildly entertain you; the remarkably resilient reader; with useless advice and cutting word-bullets. I may cheat a bit, and use some recent occurrences as framing devices, but I promise it won't be the insipid garbage spouted by the likes of this.

First let's share some wisdom. Sharing is good. Ask Gadaffi (n. A generous Libyan dictator currently running the largest High-Velocity Bullet Donation Program in all of Africa). Here goes: Kids are idiots.

Well... some of them. Which is obvious really. Whilst apparently drooling over how cute little Johnny-Toddler is, everyone's really secretly thinking how dumb kids are. How stupid. Look at him... eating his bib, puking on Mum, burbling like a drunk hobo... he must be monumentally thick. From teaching for a week in a secondary school, it seems some young 'uns never grow out of this, and wear their idiocy on their sleeve as a mark of pride.

You wouldn't catch Einstein getting baby food all over his face.

Far be it from me to dictate that there should be some kind of minimum IQ for people. That's ridiculous. But some of these guys just don't care. They're self centred, entitled little gits who think society is a tit to be sucked on until they die of liver failure at age 25. And they're proud of this. It's probably not even their fault, but it's hard to feel sympathy when you see them twatting their classmates with textbooks for shits 'n giggles. Anyway- that's more or less all I have to say on that. There are obvious points for discussion like how there are also quite a few genuinely (surprisingly) intelligent, witty, funny, nice students at the school I just worked at. Also there's the question of why the trouble makers are in their current state (professionally called the 'Who Fucked Up?' question). But this isn't a sociological forum. Go have clever dialogue elsewhere. I'm going to rip into something else.

Actually I've decided I can put a positive spin on an otherwise quite worrying story. Nothing too topical mind: there are exactly four hundred quintillion bloggers out there finger bashing about Lord Charles of Sheen or how nuclear power is clearly dangerous because Europe is in constant danger of Mag 9 earthquakes. So let's go with this story: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13011073

For the lazy among you, the headline readeth thusly: "New York set to be big loser as sea levels rise". Very briefly, my polarity shifting attitude to this delicious little news slice is because at long last, the land of Hope and Burgers- refuge of the climate sceptic; and user of around 25% of the world's energy and home to less than 4% of the world's population- has got a reason to get down to some greenpeacing. Because if they don't, some New Yorkers will drown. This is the only way they're ever going to get the idea. Apparently knowing that half the Pacific islands will disappear isn't enough- it has to be brought home. It worked in WW2, right?

The next step. Pay attention nature.

Lastly and probably leastly, I have a literally vital* piece to say about time wasting. You know- what you're doing reading this, and what I'm doing writing it? That stuff. Time wasting benefits you in a great many ways. It makes you a stranger person: in my case, a person who knows pi to 50 decimal places, the names of every country in the world, and who has read extensively on the difference between a Fajita, a Burrito, and a Taco† and conclusively decided that hell... Old El Paso dinner kits may not be too authentically Mexican but at least they make some damn sense. On the other hand, I find that being bored is joint bottom of my list of least-favourite-feelings along with: being unable to find things, and being forced to listen to that fucking 'Friday' song. I despise, loathe, detest and hate boredom with an unquenchable passion that would make a psychologist kill themselves and all their children.

This ludicrous overreaction is due mainly to the fact that I listened to some well-intended advice a little to carefully, and now tend to analyse every waking moment to see if I'm wasting time. Do lots of people do this? Do you feel slightly dirty if you're watching TV for more than 12 seconds? Do you feel you have to reserve those less exciting activities like videogaming until you're older than Tutunkahmun and can barely walk or piss anymore? Apparently the thing I've soaked-up most from all the tidbits of info in my younger years is that doing something unproductive is a phenomenal waste of potential and you should immediately be sent to the circle of Hell reserved for the 'sloth'.

Kids, if in between beating the everliving shit out of each other (or in rare cases solving Fermat's Last Theorem) you happen to stumble across this pointless piece of literature, take this away from it:

Live life to the fullest: make every second count: be passionate in all that you do.
Unless you just feel like chilling out. As an idea, new Dr Who starts soon.

Neo "Get the hell off that computer and do something useful" phlegm



*For 'vital' read 'unimportant'
†Have you ever read about this stuff on Wikipedia?
Taco: "a traditional Mexican dish composed of a corn or wheat tortilla folded or rolled around a filling "
Fajita: "any grilledmeat served on a flour or corn tortilla. "
Burrito: "a type of Mexican food. It consists of a wheat flour tortilla wrapped or folded around a filling"
Why don't we just come up with three words for 'sandwich' and export it to North America? 

The Big Epic Advert Hating Rant Part2- The Sequel

I hesitate to call this 'the conclusion': for there are many putrid and hateful advertisements out there which deserve ridicule, and I would hate to leave anybody out. I got a nice amount of suggestions for this one: thanks for everyone's input. If you sent me something saying "I love this advert!" and it ends up below with the piss taken out of it... well... you've only yourself to blame.

The Graham Norton award for Hideously Disturbing Campness
Some of the less easily concerned among you might find this funny. I would ask you to take a good hard look at your life. Here is a company who presumably pays eleventy billion dollars a year to some sweaty marketing executives who decide the best way to advertise their product is with a character less likeable than Adam Sandler's testicles, sexually harassing his fellow male colleagues. Smooth.

The Spaghetti Bolognese Award for Things Nearly Everybody Loves but which I Hate

The YouTube comments for this next pick would have you think you were about to watch something so artistically masterful that Van Gogh would've immediately hurled himself off a building with self-hatred at never being able to accomplish such greatness. The reality, I find, is a pathetically cute advert doing nothing to sell its intended product and introducing a dog who apparently likes watching your daughter through her bedroom window.

Then again, the average YouTube user has the IQ of a potplant.

The Andrew Lloyd-Webber's Face Award for Creepiest Shit

Hey you! Yeh you! You big shiny member of our target demographic! I think I know what you want. You want some mineral water! You know what encourages drinking mineral water?

Utterly deformed, badly animated, babies.

Yup. I'm thirsty now. I warn you, this is one of those things you wish you could un-see.

The worst thing is it goes ON. You think it's finished but OH NO! We hired this 16 year old college kid to do our animation and by god are we going to get our money's worth.

The Piers Morgan Award for Narcissism

Personally, I think perfume companies should give up on adverts. You can't possibly convey a smell through the television anymore than I can convey punching Beyonce in the face through the internet: which is a real shame because that's the overwhelming desire I'm left with after exposing myself to this nauseating visual depiction of the unwashed singer making camera-love to herself. I say we disfigure her.

The Frankie Boyle Award for Political Incorrectness

I personally find Paris Hilton about as attractive and likeable as a face-full of malaria. But it's ok: because we can mock this disfigured person instead.

Dear God in heaven...

The John Prescott's Anus Award for WORST EVER THING IN THE UNIVERSE EVER.

This really does need no introduction. If you haven't heard of this, well.... I envy you. In fact, if you've not heard of this, don't watch the video below. Lead a happy life, safe in the knowledge you never exposed yourself to the vilest, most sickening, hateful pile of breakfast-cereal based garbage in the history of mankind. Never before has an advert drawn such universal hatred and derision. Never before, and hopefully, never again.

Ah! My brain! My braaain!

Skip to 0:23 if you fancy a disturbing close up of the little twat's crotch =/

So there we have it. The end of part 2. If you enjoyed this, please feel free to spew your ideas at me and we can continue the flaming well into the future.

Ta

-Neop

The Big Epic Advert Hating Rant Part1- A Recap

Once upon a time, I wrote a blog about some adverts I hated, and I said there would be more to come. I lied though, and said it would be 'that week'. Well, here I am around a year later, planning the sequel. In the meanwhile here's the first batch for you, reproduced in full, lest we had forgotten the contenders:
(Open quotes)

Inspired by being reintroduced to TV after my self-imposed televisual exile at University, I've decided to commemorate the stupidest adverts ever (that I can find) with a nice little blogging. Rather than do a countdown of the worst adverts ever (which was my original intention, but has been done many times) I'm going to pick out a few choice pieces of thick-headedness and give them my own coveted Neophlegm Patented Advert Award 2010®. Without further ado, let's see the winners!



The Duct-Tape and DVD award for Most Forced Movie Tie-In


We're probably used, by now, to the relentless capitalist empires of large firms throwing money at big Movie production companies to leisurely paste their logo all over the resulting film. Audi in I Robot and Iron Man, Sony in Terminator Salvation, iPods in.... everything. But while these at least bear a passing relation to the subject matter of the film, I think the forced-marriage of Twilight and Volvo leaves many, many questions unanswered:

The Microsoft Help Centre award for Useless Information

This category is dedicated to all those adverts which tell you absolutely bugger all about their product, under the pretence of being useful. I was tempted to award this to anything with a figure like "75% of Women prefer [Product]" but instead have to award this to any advert which includes the phrase "Up to 100%". There are plenty of these, but the one I've highlighted here is a particularly retarded Head and Shoulders advert which gives you the useful information that it can make you 'up to 100% flake free'. 

This tells you two useful things: That you may be anything UNDER 100% flake free (for example, 0% flake free, which presumably means your head is one enormous flake... yummy), and that it will never make you MORE than 100% flake free (which I imagine would mean it had an area effect which cleared other people's dandruff?). Anyway, video here if you need reminding how easy it is to baffle large groups of people with figures and crap French soundtracks.

The Mel Gibson Award for Barely Concealed Racism

There are a worrying amount of entrants in this category: of note are Sony's poorly thought out PSP ad, and this more obscure advert courtesy of an air-headed Spanish basketball team.

The runaway (pun intended) winner however, is this wonderfully bad-taste piece that appeared from Intel a few years ago, which is definitely not a concealed veil for white supremacy. Original piece on Gizmodo.

The High School Musical Award for most Cringe Inducing Soundtrack

If you're expecting a certain cereal advert for this section, I'd like you to consider that 'cringing' is not the same as 'contemplating murder'. Be patient.

This category though, I think is jointly won by two different stupid pieces of advertising garbage for two different reasons. The first winner is this pathetic attempt to appear 'cool' by one of those oh-so-trendy sofa companies DFS, who saw fit to pick out a bunch of photogenic but otherwise useless actors using a recruiting piece which probably ran "Wanted- Actors to mime horribly to utterly inappropriate soundtrack for Sofa store ad. Must have no appeal whatsoever, and dance moves that would make Michael Jackson cough up blood".

The second winner is something of a no-brainer, and doesn't really need any introduction, except to say that there probably aren't many people left who don't want to cause some amount of bodily harm to this guy.

Anyway- that does it for part 1. More to come in part 2 later this week. Keep your eyes open!

-Neop

Past midnight, Blogging is go.

Ah. So having been suitably roused by some well-meaning idiocy in our quaint student household, coupled with an overarching desire to not-sleep, I find myself as usual in a slightly pissy mood doing what I do best at this time of the night. And I don't mean clubbing children.

GOD. Children piss me off.

Not all of them mind. Mostly only the ones I see around here. Maybe it's because the more innocuous younglings don't draw any attention to themselves and I can happily ignore them in my daily routine of wake->uni->home->eat->go out [replace 'go out' with 'write blog' as appropriate]. But, living next to a run down council estate you'd be forgiven for thinking that every sub-18 year old is a badly dressed loudmouth with the IQ of a football and the public decency of Lindsay Lohan on ketamine. You can't pass a miserable, sweaty group of the jumped up little bastards without getting insults hurled vaguely at you (or anyone you're standing near) in this sort of pathetic pre-pubescent powerplay that smacks of underdeveloped brain syndrome (medically classified as being "Fucking thick").

You know the sort. 

They potter around in their little 'cru' with their stupid hair and their stupid Adidas trousers tucked into their stupid socks, feeling like entitled little dictators. I don't believe in capital punishment for one minute but I wouldn't hesitate, if I were the parent of one of the swaggering little parasites, before branding 'dickhead' on them with a hot iron. That being said, probably the average parent of one of these respiring little shit-sacks is a fat wobbling mass of cheap lager and nicotine farting their way through benefits only stopping to occasionally piss and moan about rich people. Yes fat-cat businessmen are wankers, but at least they're wankers who own yachts and aren't going to die, writhing in chest pains from a self induced heart attack, at an age where their sole achievement is contaminating the earth with their useless effing offspring.

An aside:

I'd like at this stage to add some caveats: being as we are living in an age of very loud online groups with acronyms instead of names, if more than my customary audience of about 20 readers get hold of this and feel that I've somehow implied that all council estate dwellers are in fact bottom feeding scum, I will be summarily lynched publicly and expensively. As this is the case I'll qualify this by saying firstly that I have nothing against council estates inasmuch as I can't have anything against inanimate areas of habitation: and also that I'm somehow generalising whole groups of the population (perhaps unfairly) into a category of sub-human faeces whom I utterly despise.

This second point holds some value: it's impossible to completely generalise people. You can't even say you hate Nazis because Oscar Schindler was a Nazi and he helped a whole bunch of Jews in a bizarrely altruistic way.

However I take the view that most people clever enough to type in a web address (or at least follow a hyperlink) can also realise this themselves. In this case generalisations are useful and you shouldn't have to worry about the sort of covering-your-own-ass which I am relentlessly pursuing in this very paragraph. In short: I'm picking on the people who deserve to be picked on. If you're not a stupid little cock, and your parents aren't blundering arseholes, then I'm not aiming my comments at you and please don't take offence; even if you live/lived on a council estate. By virtue of the fact you're reading this you're a completely different league of human being.

These guys obviously agree with me. You can tell because they have sunglasses on.

To resume, then.

I haven't been alive long enough to make the kind of conceited comment that this wave of human-shaped viruses is somehow a product of the current times/government/digital revolution/water fluoridation. I imagine a large majority of the older populace does just this on a regular basis. My main question though, is why does there seem to be such a divide? This is all based on the microcosm of society that I have been exposed to in my short 21 years but you rarely find people that sit in the middle of laddish-thug and what I'd call a normal person. It's an honest question and I'd be happy for some sociologist to explain to me and then give me a firm telling-off for cheapening their science by blogging about it.

Until they eradicate the stupid gene though, we're stuck with them. We even have the word 'Chav' to encapsulate the whole nauseating class into one succinct syllable for easy conversation. We as a society have clearly hunkered down and just gotten used to the fact that they exist and aren't going anywhere except possibly the old-folks home to steal things and piss on the walls. They're going to keep yelling that bystanders are gay, keep smoking from the ripe old age of twelve, keep knocking back White Lightening like it's not fermented Demon-piss, and keep getting each other knocked up so that their kind can continue to get on everyone's tits for generations to come.

And there's nothing you can do about it. Goodnight.

-Neop

Little bit on the side:

http://thearis.posterous.com/airports

Go on. Read another blog, you dirty scoundrel. You know you want to read an amusing anecdote about airports from my (I should point out, extremely british-sounding and greek by blood) friend.

-Neop