By all means, please, read my last entry, but take note fair interwebber, that there is no longer nothing to talk about. I am of course referring to this!
It seems that a certain female monkey, sorry girl, from somewhere called Barry Isle, has lightly toasted herself in a tanning salon. This apparently constitutes news.
Shocking, I'm sure.
She makes some extremely well educated points regarding how stupid she is, including that she was well aware that the salon was for over 16s only (she's 14), but pointed out that:
"Teenagers are going to push the boundaries. They are going to do things they should not do."
I offer this in return (fully aware that I myself, am a teenager):
"Teenagers are going to push the boundaries. They are going to do things they should not do, and if anything bad happens as a result they bloody well deserve it".
The human race doesn't survive on the principle of "survival of the stupidest, because the cleverer ones look after them". If you're too much of a fool to use a tanning bed, under age, for FAR too long, then you can suffer for it. Who'd have guessed that a bloody sunbed could give you sunburn? I suppose she'll soon find out the hard way that drinking too much alcohol can kill you (before suing the alcohol companies for not physically taking the drink off her).
This situation seems to me to be akin to an asthmatic sneaking past warning signs and barging into an asbestos storage room, then moaning when their lungs start bubbling out their mouth as a pinky-red foam.
Put it another way, wouldn't a similar news report look like this:
Girl Breaks Leg Falling Off Cliff
A girl of 14 was hospitalised today with a severe fracture to her leg, after falling more than 30 ft from a cliff near Lyme Regis.
Annie Spoonacre was out for a walk with her friends when they decided to make their way to the cliff edge. Annie fell from the precipice after she slipped on the muddy grass along the side. "I just sort of, fell. It was very sudden. I was well shocked".
Her mother today commented that cliffs were "an extreme risk".
Annie acknowledged she was "partly responsible":
"I knew I wasn't supposed to go near the edge, but teenagers like to push boundaries. They are going to do things they should not do".
The cliff lies on land owned by Ernest Blitherington who said in an interview:
"It is a shame she ignored the warnings. There were thirty-three signs and a large fence between the path and the cliff edge. We were operating within the law".
Annie's mother is considering pressing charges. She commented on the dangers of cliffs and suggested stricter controls be put in place, such as twenty four hour armed guards and force fields. "I'm very concerned that children could go through the same experience as Annie. I was completely unaware that there are un-guarded cliffs".
It is expected that the matter of cliffs will be discussed in Parliament tomorrow. Some Health and Safety analysts have already suggested cliffs be outlawed completely.
Local ambulance staff said Annie was "lucky" and that in future she shouldn't behave like such a total prat.